Lyrics to My Songs

Conference Call, The Musical!

[long and pointless conference call chatter that goes on forever and wastes your time]

Thanks for calling in to my conference call
Without them I’d have nothing to do at all
I’m the boss but I just sit here every day
It justifies my existence if only in some tiny way

Oh let me tell you bout my vacation
I took another one
No I don’t care if you’re listening
But let me show you how it’s done

I work in a technical field but I have no skills
But I got to where I am through my total lack of will
I know you’ve already got too much on your plate
But I’m gonna go ahead and ask you to work late

Oh I’m the invisible boss
You never see my face
Yeah I know you’re real busy
But you know what? I’ve gots lots and lots and lots of time to waste

I tell you to think of your working day with ease
But if you don’t tow the line we’ll send your job overseas
In person I like to act like everyone’s pal
But I can feel my bullshit eat away at your morale

Oh let’s run it up the flagpole
And see who salutes
Yeah you’re low man on the totem pole
And what you think is less than less than less than moot

[more inane conference call chatter about birthday cake in the conference room]

Here’s a thought to wipe the smirk off your face
Another ten years and you’ll be taking my place
The freedom you think you feel is a cubicle wall
Give you enough rope to feel the slack is tied round your balls

Oh it’s a winning combination
That I facilitate
Wow your ass belongs to me
So whaddya say we kick of and go down to the conference room and have some of that birthday cake …

American Express
You know what you did but you won't take it out to admit it
The scars are on your flesh but you still can't say you did it
You pack it all up and you think that you've finally quit it
But you can't shake the feeling it's with you every single minute

This is love you can't express

You took a picture but you don't know what is it
There's something in frame and the exposures exquisite
You say that you've got it but you know that you know that it isn't
Whatever it was you don't say you don't want to be specific

This is love you can't express

What you waiting for in this waste of time or space or what have you got against it anyway

Can you take another chance and see that you're only impressing yourself or you find self-doubt is the only thing that prevents you from staying in bed all day every day

Ain't it better to restrain it all than submit it
Who really wants to hear all about your great big hearts exhibit
If you can't leave 'em laughing you're really not with it
There's a big city girl you think you should probably visit

This is love you can't express

Hypothermia Man
One day you wake up to find the world encased
Nobody moves or dreams at all inside this place
You clench your fists against the cold
You feel like your story has already been told

Try to find a way to make that feeling last
Tho you act surprised it never happens fast
You can see it coming for you down the block
But no matter what you do you'll feel the shock of things she said

Everyone stumbles as they trudge on through the snow
You aren't the only one who has nowhere to go
Look them in the eye as if it did you good
After spending so much time misunderstood

Try to find a way to make that feeling last
Tho you act surprised it never happens fast
You can see it coming for you down the block
But no matter what you do you'll feel that shock of things she said

So you steel yourself for what may happen yet
Tho it hurts you know you never want to forget
She's been here so long you might mistake her price
To convince yourself that chill is only ice

Try to find a way to make that feeling last
Tho you act surprised it never happens fast
You can see it coming for you down the block
But no matter what you do you'll feel that shock of things she said

Easy Ploy
Everything works out for you
Just like you imagined
Anything that might interfere
Gets swept under the rug

Everything you want
Everything you see
No matter how hard you look
You will never find me

Tried so hard to give a chance
Cutting slack and letting it slide
You'd never return the favor
You just look for a new place to hide

Everything you want
Everything you see
No matter how hard you look
You will never find me

All you looked for was an easy answer
Breaking down is an easy ploy
Won't look deeper since it's so much simpler
Nothing left here for you to enjoy

Everything you want
Everything you see
Will you ever find the ones to blame your
problems keep on marching through the door

Everything you want
Everything you see
No matter how hard you look
You will never find me

Forget Me Do
Times like these
Call for a drink
And I know you're listening
While you puke in the sink

When I stop and stare
You keep going on
And I wonder
How long you'll go on

You can't speak truth
Tho it would save your life
I gotta hand ya
You'll make a smashing wife

You can't erase the past
But you can forget all about me

Clinton Hill Lullabye
The neighbors have all shot up
The cats all in the sky
And sad politicians are
All waving us good bye

The moon opens so empty
The rain has left its cake
And the brunt of daily living
Is still keeping me awake

The bars are all closing
So the barflies need the phone
And the last good girl in Brooklyn
got a livery cab alone

Who cares who we are fighting
Who cares who may well win
When I haven't had a decent night
Of sleep since it begins

You whisper to me softly
It's all that I can do
To take you there right in my arms
As though I still had you

Buskers skim the moonlight
But there's no one there to hear
And everything you whispered to me
Ringing in my ear

Tomorrow there'll be sunshine
And the white snow drifts will kiss
But I'd rather stay awake all night
If I still feel like this

So who cares who is evil
And who cares who will awake
My days are all so groggy
When there's nothing more at stake

The Smartest Tree in the Forest

Entitlement is as plain as the nose
You watch him cut it off
Success means your head in the sand
He fills the hourglass
How does he know he's right?
Soapbox leaves him no room to stand
He gets a leg up
Equivocation means nothing to lose
Still he won't shut it up
How does he know he's right?
He can't begin to chop him down
This is the way we say good night
No one sees he won't make a sound
He keeps it up we're up all night
Albert Pinestein


Zooming Past Accuracy
You make things so difficult
Worst case is your end result
You might sing along
You always get it wrong
While you chase the facts
But you don't believe in
An excuse to leave in
Ain't got no stock in
Put a sock in it and you're gone
Shut up, drink up
You never change
Shut up, drink up
It's all the same


Lout
Today is his last chance
Broken bottles in the hall
The way he fools them all
Walks like he's in a trace
Time to take stock in what he's traded
There's' nothing worse than an empty head
There's only one thing missing
You might not see at first
His tone of voice seems terse
It's only strained from wishing
It's a way of working
In everyday things
It's his way of working
So he'll pull up the strings
He can always assume his role
What she says he wants to hear
The goals are all quite clear
He thinks he's been swallowed whole
It all adds up to him
You see he's like this everyday
No one will take that away
Too clear he's gotta get the message out
Just words to make him forget his doubts
Still he's just a lout
He's got his good shoes on
He wears of suit of clothes
Hoping that no one knows
About his newest con
Time was the guy never looked this way
Struck down like he's in some Mamet play
Break out he can't be just a little man
He takes her love any way he can
All part of his plan

Freddie
Been a long time
She's been coming around
She used to bring me rats from the yard
What else can you do when life is hard
She jumps up on the roof when the summer is new
Just to remind me of the things I can't do
Been a long time
She's been coming around
A little gumby cat with icy yellow eyes
The fact she's never lost a fight might come as a surprise
To the people who don't know her like I wish I did
They never got to see cuz she always ran and hid
Been a long time
She's been coming around
She waited out the winter in a cardboard box
A heart in hibernation never feeling what she lost
When it gets warm I may not see her for days
But she always ends up back here like she'd never been away
Been a long time
She's been coming around
My friends used to tell me not to act like that
You can't solve all your problems feeding a stray cat
But I won't listen tho I haven't heard in months
Guess I'm off the hook but still I'd like to see her once
Been a long time
She's been coming around

She's Gone
She don't clean up
She's left a mess
She's a real fuck up
Even at her best
I'm glad she's gone
I can't relate
She'll make up pawns
Of her new roommates
She's gone!
I couldn't take another day
She's not my friend
And she never was
Think of her shrill laugh
It will always kill my buzz
She won't work a job
She makes her cracks
Expecting everybody else
To pick up her slack
I dunno what she'll do
Without her complaints
She got someone new
He must be a saint
She's gone!
I couldn't take another day

Century 21
You want my best kept secret?
You know that you might need it
You'll want to take that route
You're never getting out
21
It's time to break the trend
You think you'll find yourself
Stacked up upon the shelves
Dressed up in your shirt sleeves
You're never gonna leave
21
It's time to break the trend
You want it all to end
You find some one to take you
You think that it won't break you
You want to believe the lies
You can never find your size
Fancy that you're a lonely quester
Drape yourself in polyester
Like the clothes that need no care
All you own is wash and wear
It's just another cheap outfit
Discounted so you'll never quit
You can't start or just begin
If something's not right just trade it in
You find what you look for
It's what you dreamed and more
Fool yourself now for long
Everybody knows you're wrong
21
It's time to break the trend
Now that you're on the mend
21

Middle Class Fights

Though I'd like to say I knew all along
It took till today to see where I was wrong
It all adds up now, I can see you don't hate me
But the words you throw they stung like knives
How it seemed you could throw out both our lives
But I get it now and I just hope it's not too late for me
Well you knew that I was on my guard
For the way things happened hit too hard
You know any other man would have acted the same
And you didn't know what was in my heart
But there was room enough before the start
Guess I've been waiting once for you to say my name
This is how it ends
When I told you I couldn't see how it ends
What I meant was that I couldn't lose more friends
I wanna tell you now that it's gonna fade away
My head's been full of middle class fights
I wanna tell you both now I'm all right
And if it takes all day well then I guess I can wait one more day
We are friends
This is how it ends

Pinky

There's no place left for escape
To keep this pig out of my face
Step outside and hear her squeal
Interrupts me every meal
Pink pink pink pig
Pinky really stinks
Pink pink pink pig
When she makes me think
Pink pink pink pig
Pinky's gotta go
Pink pink pink pig
Cuz i said so
Got me first when she learned to howl
So in heat she's on the prowl
I think she's gone but she's in my bed
While explanations whirl past my head
Pink pink pink pig
Lose my mind
Pink pink pink pig
Where did i find
Pink pink pink pig
I don't own you
Pink pink pink pig
Whatcha gonna do
I try but I cannot catch ya
You can't go where they don't letcha
You think you have it figured out
But you don't know why i got to lock you out
Get on out
Morning sunlight burns my eyes
My ears are shot from hearing lies
My breath is bad cuz I ate shit
But pinky comes back stupid git
Pink pink pink pig
Pinky really stinks
Pink pink pink pig
When she makes me think
Pink pink pink pig
Pinky's gotta go
Pink pink pink pig
Cuz I said so

She Disappears
Everyone has forgotten her name
Saw a picture could not place the face
Open space where her chair used to sit
Not enough to fill the space of it
She disappears
No one can hear her
She disappears
When no one believes
She cannot tell you a lie
No more than she tells herself
And when it comes time for her to go
You find she left already years ago
He knows someone was here but receives no reply
Mistakes her for shadows and passes on by
He has something for her a leftover key
But she's not the same one that he knew he could see
He remembers a little, a lock of her hair
He thinks that he hears her but no one is there
There must be another, unseen and unheard
To make her world flesh she needed only to say a word
She disappears
No one can hear her
She disappears
When no one believes
No one believes her

Absolutely Nothing
When you've got absolutely nothing else to do
Think of me
You're done with your job
You read through the mail
You checked the weather
You bought a chicken
You met your friends
You went for a stroll
You plucked your eyebrows
You powdered your nose
You checked your email
You made the bed
You had a drink
You talked on the phone
You flossed your teeth
You cut your toenails
When you've got absolutely nothing left to do
Think of me
When you've gone through it all
Don't hesitate to call
I don't mind waiting Ö

Why am I So Nice to You?
Why am I so nice to you?
Is it because Iím still in love with you?
Or is it because I just won't face a life without you?
Or is it because I just don't know what else to do?
Why am I so nice to you?
Since when you were done
You just couldnít see why it might bother me
To leave me alone and call on the phone like
I was just another guy you know
Why am I so nice to you?
Well you act like a jerk even though I know you want it to work
But you know there's no map to chart our jagged course
I look in your eyes and though I want to see all the lies
I only see you and that person rises over what you do
At least for a time I'll disregard things along that line
But I can't shake the thought that this is what
you want, this is the world you bought
It's got nothing to do with my life and what we went through
So what is the point of standing up and busting up this joint
You might never care so in the end Iíll guess Iíll stay right there
Why am I so nice to you?

Please Stop Fucking on My Corpse
The night that I was mugged
You fell in love
The blood ran down my face
You fell in love
The day that I got shot
You came home late
I told the nurse Iíd wait
You came home late
The time they crashed my plane
You held his hand
The bone stuck through the skin
You held his hand
When I was terminal
You said goodbye
Tears fell from my IV
You said goodbye
I don't really have a lot of things that I can complain about
Its not really up to me it's not the way I thought things would be
It's okay
Iíll be all right
I didn't even know
I couldn't put up a fight
What kind of girl are you
To sleep in the same bed
Imagine my surprise to find out
Iím† already dead
The day they buried me
You stopped by
You said well this is awkward
When you stopped by
I thought you saw enough
But you took me home
Put my body on your bed
You took me home
Please stop fucking on my corpse

Name This Thing
I wish I could name this thing
Would it have a male's name?
Would it be a point of shame?
I think I can name this thing
If I name this thing will it change me?
If I change this thing can it name me?
I wish I could tame this thing
I wish I could name this thing
Would it be a male's name?
Would it be a point of shame?
I think I can change this thing
If I change this thing would it change me?
If I name this thing would it name me?
If I Change this thing could it change me?
If I name this thing won't it change me?

There's Only One Thing Wrong
There's Only One Thing Wrong

Al Called
Al called
He called to say his band had just played
He called to see if I was okay
Al Called
He wants an answer
He wants and answer to his call
He gets his answer
He gets his answer, it's not small
Al Called

They Bleed
I don't want the towels

I Like You
I don't like country
I don't like folk
I don't like president james k. polk
I don't like reggae
I don't like glam
I certianly don't trust Uncle Sam
But I like you
Yes I do
I don't like metal
I don't like grunge
I don't like memories of when I was young
I don't like techno
Cuz it goes on long
I'm not even sure I like this song
But I like you
Yes I do

Hopin
Hoping that my legs don't last too long
Hoping that voice ain't that strong
Hoping that I don't ask too much
Hoping that it's still enough

Girl I Knew
Whatever happened to the girl I knew?
Missed her grand exit from the main ballroom
Whatever happened to the girl I knew?
Find one new
Whatever happened to the girl I knew?
Missed her grand exit from the main ballroom
Whatever happened to the girl I knew?
What became of you?

I Feed the Cat
It's all in my head
This is just what I said
She's taking the bed (don't tell me)
Every single day
It never goes away
It's all in my head
This is just what I said
These feet lined with lead
Every single day
It never goes away

Lil' Keyboard
My little keyboard
Hear it make its noise
My little keyboard
It's my favorite toy
My little keyboard
See it make its noise
But if I lost it
I would be destroyed

My Own Scissors
She left me one pair of scissors
I cut out some paper dolls
Set them on fire
I cut out some paper planes
Watched as they burst into flame
EASY
She gave me one pair of scissors
I don't know why
I guess she didn't like it
When I gave hers a try
EASY
EASY

Why Buy a Van
If this van is a-rockin'
Won't you please come a-knockin'
Cuz I don't think anybody's there
If this van is a-rockin'
Won't you please come a-knockin'
Cuz I'm not breathing anything but air
I can't open it
I can't close it
If this van is a-rockin'
Won't you please bother knockin'
Cuz I don't think that anybody's there
If this van ain't a-rockin'
Then you ought not bother knockin'
Cuz there's nobody there
I can't open
I can't close
I can't

Look! Birds!
Look at all the pretty birds
They fly away
Someday they come back home again
I know I'm not no pretty bird
No I'm not no pretty bird
Someday

Will I
Cats surround the bed where I sleep
Not very often lately but
I can't decide if I should
Will I sleep?
Will I eat?
Will I sleep?
Will I
Shave my head to spite my face
it's only temporary states but
I can't decide if I should
Will I drive a car?
Will I stay at the bar?
Will I feed the cat
Will I
Won't I Don't know how
I can make any sense of this
but if I had half a brain
I know what I'd do with it then
Will I think?
Will I sleep?
Will I will I

Before it Began
It's too late to start/stop

I'm Stacked
I know it's over
It doesn't matter what I have to say
Iím going to take every advantage
If it doesn't matter what I say
I never had much drive
Til you showed me otherwise
My words go up they don't come back down
You'd think they hit with the numbers in town
You've got to fight to see things your way
If it doesn't matter what you have to say
Iíve got a job to do and no one can see
The borders and levees stacked all around me
They don't just fold out to take up all this space
They're here to keep me all in one place
Iím all stacked up

 
 
 


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